Love Burns
by CaitlinSici
Summary: The guilt still caused her physical pain to this day. Why did she deserve happiness, and not Leah? What made her so special? Emily POV


Wooo. I made a mistake when I wrote this, but I still like it, so here you go!

Title: Love Burns

Author: CaitlinSici

Spoilers: Eclipse

Author's Note: Thanks to my beta sublimeardeur and also to Ladyceky for reading over this!

* * *

The pack is gathered around the grill, each man claiming he knows how to make the best ribs. Jokes are flying; the result of the picnic starting early and multiple beers.

When Emily frowns over their state of intoxication, Quil claims _It's the Fourth of July!_ _We gotta celebrate the white man declaring independence!_ She shakes her head and walks away. They were grown men, and if they wanted to act like children, who was she to stop them?

She slowly turns around and stares at Sam and Leah; they're sitting by the fire, an awkward distance between them, as if they can't get too close or they'll fall apart.

The guilt still caused her physical pain to this day. Why did she deserve happiness, and not Leah? What made her so special?

Emily remembers the first time she saw him. It was like an explosion had taken place, instant fireworks. She had denied it, and tried her best to stay away from him. He was, after all, her cousin's fiancé. She couldn't steal from her own flesh and blood.

But it was undeniable. She was instantly smitten, her soul and his seeming to intertwine like vines, careless of silly things like rules and gravity.

She had questioned her religion then, because what god could be so cruel: the man of her dreams was engaged to someone she thought of as a sister, _her friend._

But she was weak. Sure, she had told Sam to stay away, but at the same time, she had imagined his hands on her skin, touching all the right places, whispering her name. She said a silent prayer of thanks every time she set eyes on him, that she didn't blush easily and that she was good at hiding things.

The first time she kissed him, every curse word she knew had flown out of her mouth; she didn't know a lot, but it got her point across.

She had thought she was infallible, the Titanic of resistance, But her ship was sunk and she gave in. But Leah, she was the strongest person Emily knew. Even after her friend stole her future from her, she never shed a single tear. Emily didn't know if Leah was too proud to cry, or too hurt.

Emily had seen the glint in her eyes every time she talked of Sam, especially after he went missing. She had been frantic with worry, unable to remember to eat and sleep. When he came back, no explanation, everyone assumed the worst. _He's into drugs_, they'd whisper. But Leah stuck to his side, never doubting him for a second.

When they were younger, Leah had said she would never get married. _It's a failing institution_, she said. _And besides, I don't need a man to make me happy_. But then Sam had come along, and all that had changed. Leah had abandoned her ideas about marriage and her future, and instead she invested everything in him.

She once asked Jacob and Embry if they thought Leah would ever imprint. It would be the perfect scapegoat; Leah would have no reason to be bitter, because she would know what it felt like.

"I don't think it's going to happen," Jacob had said quietly. "She's too…hung up on Sam. She won't let herself forget what it was like between them."

Emily frowned sadly, because she knew he wasn't just talking about Leah and Sam. She knew he believed he would never imprint because he had found what he was looking for in Bella, she just didn't want him the same way.

"Well, I still think it can happen," Embry stated.

Emily knows not to feel too bad for her, though. Sam would never let her know, but his pack-mates aren't as sympathetic: Embry and Jacob told her what Leah does to Sam, torturing him mentally, making him pay for something that wasn't even his fault. Jacob's various nicknames for her, harpy, shrew, bitter she-wolf, are fitting.

They tell her how her mental complaints make them _all _suffer. It's bad enough she's doing it to her and Sam, but taking it out on the pack is just hateful.

When she's around, Leah purposely makes comments that she knows will burn Emily. When they talk about the wedding, Leah mentions what she would do, if it were _her _wedding.

The things left unsaid _oh wait, this isn't my wedding because you stole my fiancée_ cut deep, and Leah knows it. Her lack of compassion makes Emily sick, and sometimes, she just wants to smack her.

Emily awoke from her stupor with a start. The boys had started setting off fireworks, which was probably not the best idea. They were so drunk by now, they were lucky to still be standing.

She got up from the bench and went over to the grill, gently taking the tongs from them.

They complained loudly, but stopped when she reminded them what had happened the last time they tried to cook. They quickly walked away, leaving Emily to finish what they had started.

She quickly spread the remaining ribs, hot dogs and burgers over the fire.

Lost in thought, she was startled when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Her hand slipped, the side of it brushing against the burning metal. She swore loudly, and turned around.

"I didn't mean to startle you. Is your hand okay?" Leah was standing behind her, a look of surprised satisfaction on her face.

Emily cradled her burned hand and bit her lip. "It's fine. I'm fine."

"Okay, well Sam wants to talk to you."

She watched as Leah walked away and noted the extra spring in her step. No. She didn't really feel sorry for Leah after all.


End file.
